Thoughts for the day.

Procrastination is an art form.
Depression is realising that if my head process this well during my degree I would have gotten a first
Dealing is realising that I still got a 2:1 with a lump pressing against the part of my brain that controlled intellectual functions.

Tiredness

So tired I almost feel drunk with it. :D

....zZzZZ

I'm so fricken tired. I've been have trouble sleeping for various reasons.  So I stayed up reading till 5a.m. Brilliant...  I expected to drift long before that.  I'm still trying to write a formal request letter to my employers for payslips. It's nearly complete but between the mix of emotion the entire situation has awakened and the tiredness I can't seem to okay the draft.  I had better luck with my creative writing this morning, but it's not urgent!

I am Pin Cushion

No jokes. I should change my name to Pin Cushion. Every time I need a cannula I entered into an insane little ritual. The nurse will prod my elbows to find a vein. Each one will seem too deep, too close a tendon or will roll itself out of the needles way. Then they usually go after my wrist. Today, today.... My valve blew because the needle was dangerously close: no harm but a nice bruise. At this point the radiologist is called. After slapping my hand for what seems like ages and asking me I have drunk enough today he finally tries the veins in the back of my hand unsuccessfully twice. At this point I no longer care. So they go for my other wrist, finally get the canula in and we get on with the MRI. But then, the vein gets its revenge. They remove the canula and the little bastard won't stop bleeding....

With the exception of the bleeding, this happens every time.....

Anyone else want to jab me today?

STARBUCKS!!!

I finally have it! The first cup of Starbucks coffee in 4 months. It's been soooo long :( .  I'm in Oxford for my first proper MRI since the craniotomy. And it's too cold for me to wander around. I forgot how pretty Oxford, even mid-winter. I almost regret getting here 2 hours early but that's just perfect time frame for sitting in 'bucks having a drink. Funny bit is I would have gotten to headington and hour earlier but trains heading south from Banbury were facing severe delays as the result of broken down freight train. Fun day for rail staff.

It's been a busy day already. First job was to get to a drs appointment to ask my dr to write a letter to send to the benefits office on my behalf.  I am hoping it will be enough to make them reconsider suspension off the housing allowance because, while I am pursuing other avenues to get my payslips, it will be cutting it close if I do get them in time. At the moment I have to hope the benefits team will accent bank statements. Bloody frustrating. The worst part is I'm not even blaming the benefits team; it's their job. Although the best part of the day was my dr advising me not to go back to working with them. Highlight.

But I guess I am going to have to go into my savings sooner than planned either way -_- I need new glasses, sooner the better. The prescription difference is substantial enough that I get eye strain just walking around town. Working the mail-out at age concern was fun. Had to keep stooping or bringing the envelopes uncomfortably close to my face evey time there was a snag.