New year's resolutions, huh?

It's 2:30 am. I am awake. Very awake, and not because I want to be. Ironically, instead of staying up this late playing games or reading or doing something as equally more fun then sleeping I actually went to sleep early (well, fell asleep with lights on but it still counts!)  When I woke up I had some very coherent ideas for the current writing project, which if I can cure the habit of switching projects, will actually be a complete story line (huzzah!) After a very productive note session I'm now in the middle of a brain slump - caused for the first time in ages by actually cognitive work. So now, I brood...

I say brood, it's really just quizzical thoughts on the whole concept of new years resolutions. I did not make any this year - this in itself is fine as they never are remembered past the first week.  My problem this year is that my concerns are very simple, and I have no desire to set goals.  My only determination at this point is to make it too 28 alive. Simple, neh? It would be nice to have an idea of where, or what I want to be by 2016 but at this point it is not possible.  I'm too close to my brush with death; and I have had far to many difficult changes forced on me to know where I stand let alone knowing what I want to do in the future.  In small ways I am already moving forward, concrete 'resolutions' or not.  I am learning how to cope with and, importantly, predict my seizures, and while i'm not comfortable with the need, if only occasional, for a cane at my age I'm just counting myself lucky that I can walk at all.  I'm pushing myself out of the god-awful depression that was pulling me backwards post surgery, and trying to test the new boundaries to physical and mental capabilities. I would like to keep faith in myself at this point, rather then be beat down by others nonsensical ideas.

Overall, I'd say if I had a resolution this year it would be to continue to grow, rather then to let the hurt of the past year weigh me down.

Mwhaha a Christmas carol parody

So far I have managed to avoid being bah humbug about Christmas.  So much has happened this year that is depressing that it just doesn't feel right to be unhappy. Still, I attempted this parody of 'The12 Days of Christmas' and, well, it turned very bah humbug.... But I'm pleased with how it turned out!

Gah, get it off the radio!

Thanks kerrang!  To give this station credit they are actually not ramming traditional Christmas songs down our throats. However there have been a few songs that mention Christian or relate to Christmas. So far, it's depressing... Lonely day?? Thanks for the pick me up. Kinda makes you feel like life not worth it. The theme song of m.a.s.h. Was more subtle....

Doh

I'm trying to get into a mindset were I can write seizable chunks of prose fluidly. I keep getting nice ideas that I want to play with, sometimes through words and sometimes through 'art' (quotation marks used because I had no ability before the tumor disturbed my motor control.)  my ability to focus is just not there. Or I find myself actually running errands. It makes great - have a decent idea for prologue and instead of writing it wander around town just thinking about it while getting, realistically, badly needed meds. The best part is I'm now just sitting here playing with colours on the sketch pad because I bought a few colours of wool and trying to decide on a nice, but simple, design for a scarf...

Well its productive.

Seizures and safety, the bloody learning Curve

Get, I' m trying to be really careful about going out and about with my seizures in mind. I am learning  various triggers, and am usually fairly confident about predicting when they will happen. Problem is I have ones that are unpredictable... They hit me like a bolt of lightning. I was having a walk through the park today, felt fine. The next thing I knew I lost control of my right side as my leg started mild convulsions. These were mild enough that I could keep my balance with my other side but I waiting for the day a severe happens... Same thing happened a few days before but fortunately I was close enough to catch hold of a wall - or I would have been swimming in the canal!

It's cold, just far too cold. And those swans are getting vicious.


On the bright side - I made cookies!  Coffee with triple chocolate chips ^_^