It has been ages since I posted. Since march I have been either stupidly busy, fatigued or dealing with ill-health both related to my tumor or my immuno-suppression, and setting up new specialists. I'm finally back to semi-regular posting with my fiction blog. I'm finally sort-of settled into my new living situation. I've been spending lot's of time with old friends, family and a pair of adorable doggies of whom I've been playing surrogate mother too. Time really dose flow to it's own beat, as before I had even realized it, August had arrived.
I'm not a fan of August. Too many bad things happen around August. Every year I wonder what will happen this time. I'm hoping nothing because I've already had enough shit for one year. The 25th is around the corner. I've survived another year. Not yet 30 and I'm marking off years of life with the same sense of achievement usually held by those over 70.
The 28th - anniversary of my first Grand Mal. Oct 2nd - Anniversary of my awake craniotomy. Oct 7 - Anniversary of a bitch-slap I never deserved from life or from someone I cared about and trusted. It would be nice if it ended there. But life is not so kind. Then there's March... When we will be wishing that one of our own was still here.
We never know how much time we have left. There a things I no longer care about because I've learned there are things I'll never have. There are things I can't worry about because I can't affect the out come no matter what I do. Instead I choose to focus on what I can achieve, what I can do. Even when it seems insufficient to what life throws at me.
