Molding our Young.

And here it is, my second news article!  I see no reason why it shouldn't be published in some fashion if The advocate can't find room for it in the already full broadsheets.  My writing seems to have focused strictly on the non-fictional at the moment.  While this is a learning experience, I'm missing fiction.  I'm going to make myself do so flash fiction this week, damn it!  The following article is one I submitted last week for possible publication.  I'm currently working on another on behalf of Welcoming Interculteral Neighbours Inc.

Gladstone cultural diversity has seen a steep rise over the past few years, yet we only have one playgroup that reflects the changes within our community. The Multicultural Playgroup, run jointly by Playgroup QLD and WIN Inc., establishes a safe niche for children to learn and play while creating a place of mutual respect, and dignity for family groups. For these families, the playgroup makes a refreshing change from normal as children are encouraged to use both languages in the very same social activities provided by other playgroups. Through exploring the various cultures in a social context these children form an accepting community at an early age – preparing them for a future where communities are certainly going to become far more diverse.

The early years of childhood are important to the development of a child's social awareness of their world. It is during these formative years that children learn how they should cope with others who are 'different' from them. This makes is the best period for forming healthy inter-cultural interactions. As such it would be a mistake to think that the Multicultural Playgroup is purely for those of different ethnic origins. Many Australians could benefit from a deeper understanding of our neighbours, and this playgroup provides a perfect forum. Any and all are welcome to join us. The Multicultural Playgroup is free and runs at the Neighbourhood Center on 105 Toolooa st every Friday from 9:30-11:30.

For more information please visit us at Welcoming intercultural Neighbours at 10 Tank st, Gladstone. We can also be contacted by email at admin@win-australia.org.au or by phone on 0487 422 142.

I feel that this one is an improvement on the last article; flowing more fluently with the structure of a proper news article.  This style is not a bad fit for someone already experienced with the concision of flash fiction.  Hopefully, practice will make perfect and I will be able to get fiction written.  Of course, I've been keeping myself busy with work for both WIN and the RSPCA and prep for my course starting in November.  I like to be busy, clearly.

To the beat of a different drum.

It has been ages since I posted.  Since march I have been either stupidly busy, fatigued or dealing with ill-health both related to my tumor or my immuno-suppression, and setting up new specialists.  I'm finally back to semi-regular posting with my fiction blog.  I'm finally sort-of settled into my new living situation.  I've been spending lot's of time with old friends, family and a pair of adorable doggies of whom I've been playing surrogate mother too.  Time really dose flow to it's own beat, as before I had even realized it, August had arrived.

I'm not a fan of August.  Too many bad things happen around August. Every year I wonder what will happen this time.  I'm hoping nothing because I've already had enough shit for one year.  The 25th is around the corner.  I've survived another year.  Not yet 30 and I'm marking off years of life with the same sense of achievement usually held by those over 70.

The 28th - anniversary of my first Grand Mal. Oct 2nd - Anniversary of my awake craniotomy. Oct 7 - Anniversary of a bitch-slap I never deserved from life or from someone I cared about and trusted. It would be nice if it ended there.  But life is not so kind.  Then there's March... When we will be wishing that one of our own was still here.

We never know how much time we have left.  There a things I no longer care about because I've learned there are things I'll never have. There are things I can't worry about because I can't affect the out come no matter what I do. Instead I choose to focus on what I can achieve, what I can do. Even when it seems insufficient to what life throws at me.

MEgrains

I haven't update this blog in a while.  Thought it was about time.  I have been focussing my creative writing blog Next Stop: The End, which currently updates almost every day; often with 2-3 flash fics a day.  My other blog has grown to some 250+ followers with 80 odd twitter followers.  Can't say I'm complaining, I'll be happy if even 10% of those followers are regular readers.  Today I even managed a concrete paragraph for a story line I've been planning out for months.

I talked to my Doctor today about the extending my sick note. Apparently I can extend it as long as I need.  At this point that's fine by me.  I'm building up the amount of work I'm capable off but I still have frequent headaches, migraines, and bouts of fatigue.  I have been applying for jobs that are part-time and within my current capabilities but so far my application is either ignored outright or I get interviewed and automatically fail once it comes to my recent health matters. It feel like I'm not going to get a job until I'm no longer affect by seizures or brain surgery or until I deliberately choose not disclose my 'disability'.  Because the seizure effects, right-side issues, and surgery-related side-effects are still quite obvious I can't not disclose.  Seems my value as a staff member has fallen.  Gotta love society...

....zZzZZ

I'm so fricken tired. I've been have trouble sleeping for various reasons.  So I stayed up reading till 5a.m. Brilliant...  I expected to drift long before that.  I'm still trying to write a formal request letter to my employers for payslips. It's nearly complete but between the mix of emotion the entire situation has awakened and the tiredness I can't seem to okay the draft.  I had better luck with my creative writing this morning, but it's not urgent!

Change is an odd, odd thing

I've slipped back into my writing blog well and truly.  I'm managing to pump out at least 1 piece of flash fiction a day.  I can only hope this consistency holds up once I start work again because I'm coming to realize just how important it is for me to be able to write. 

I have often needed to put aside who I am to get by.  Responsibilities, maturity, care and compassion for other ect. have always been the forefront of my behaviour.  And while these are, on occasion, traits that I have had thrust on me by necessity, they are also traits I accept as a side of myself. But while this is the case I have also let a very large part of myself go undernourished because of circumstances. Underneath the surface I have passion and creativity that has not been directed properly. In continuing to write I feel I am becoming more myself then ever; which is a very odd feeling indeed.

I am also noticing odd things - such as the fact that the more I write the more Australian I sound. Which is hilarious given how long I have been in England.

The long of the short here is that I have been forced through a period of rapid growth, and I'm not at all unhappy with it.  Though that's not to say that there aren't things I would rather not have happened in the last year. But no matter what choices we make there will always be choices made for us whether it's by live or by those closest to us.

Distractions and productivity are not mutually exclusive

I'd like to say 'Another day, Another Dollar' but since I'm on sick pay the days don't mean much either way. I would go stark raving mad at my current lack of activity if it weren't for the fact that my anti-epileptic drugs make me too lethargic to actually give a rat's arse. I meant to get more writing done today, and perhaps even work some more on my CV for when I find a job for occupational therapy.  Then the distractions hit...

Today's distraction...

- Decided to vacuum room. Eventually I actually got to this but only after I finished vacuuming the lounge out.
- Thought meh, may as well vacuum the lounge and realised no one had done the couches and cushions for awhile; two breaks, a washing pile and lunch later this finally got done
- Needed to hang out washing, having remember to actually put it in in the first place.
- Oh, right. Need to take down dry stuff first; but I want to work on this piece I'm writing
- Eh, no milk for me. :( :( Walkies!!!! :)
- Still not wrote anything but sudden epiphany made me put off making bed
- Working through notes on project, hit me that it may actually be easier to time up the 12 pages of outline I have to make the changes.
- Finally manage to write a writing challenge (Called kick her to the Curb), still not started typing up current project

Conveniently I 'forgot' about CV.  But since all I need to refine now is the references and format I think I'm good.  I'm kinda restricted in what I do at the moment anyway and have to consider any job as part of a learning curve. I'm expecting workplace stress factors to affect my triggers.

Actually, dispite the distraction level I was quite productive  ^_^

A poem and a short fic in one day?

OMG I've actually been productive. Don't die on me now. ;) I kicked the day off to a start with The lion and the wolf; a bittersweet poem about mis-matched couples. I took that momentum and carried through with The Blackout; a short piece of rom-com fic in 100 words that was written as part of the Friday Fictioneers challenge. And I'm still considered writing another scene for my current project, a romance with both supernatural and crime-related action elements.

In other news I have given Crazy Thoughts a complete over haul.  How is the new look?

Tragic dreams inspiring poetry!

There are some questions you do not ask yourself in the middle of the night. Your brain will be so caught up trying to give you an answer that it will cook up strange dreams that won't actually be an answer to the question you asked but a response to the emotions behind the question. The brain has a funny way of subconsciously solving this emotion based niggles. The answers are almost always wrapped up in difficult to interpret dream signs that actually cause more confusion then they answer.

What was my question? I was wondering about past lives, more specifically, my own. No this is an area that is best left up to your personal beliefs but my personal belief is in the rebirth/re-incarnation cycle. In fact I feel I have occasional glimpses at that former self - to experience the memory of final moments certain sent a shiver down my spine. That, gratefully, was not what I was thinking about last night. When I dwell on those glimpses I sense that there was a person whom this other self loved beyond all reason; someone for whom they willingly threw their life away in battle for. Of course, it was late in the night and I began wondering if I had met or would meet that person in this life time. This was not a good point in the train of thought to fall asleep...

My dream was sad, I warn you now. It starts of with a man putting a letting a waterproof case and attaching to the bottom of an iceberg. Then I see a family home. My kid (which I have none of) is playing in the background and I am unable to focus on cooking dinner - it keeps going wrong. The man from before begins to play with the kid and offers ice cream although dinner has not been had. Feeling frustrated and sad I open the fridge to discover he has labeled absolutely everything ( including stuff that already out of date). Next thing I know I am watching him leave, not stopping him and shedding not tears, asking the universe if this is how it's meant to be. The next thing I know my attention is call back to the iceberg. I realise that the letter is a representation of what he feels and believes. Then there is this terrible knowledge that archeologist in a distant future will know more about his state of mind then I ever will.

It was at this point that I woke up feeling like an unchangable tragedy had happened.
But I wrote a nice poem as a result!

New year's resolutions, huh?

It's 2:30 am. I am awake. Very awake, and not because I want to be. Ironically, instead of staying up this late playing games or reading or doing something as equally more fun then sleeping I actually went to sleep early (well, fell asleep with lights on but it still counts!)  When I woke up I had some very coherent ideas for the current writing project, which if I can cure the habit of switching projects, will actually be a complete story line (huzzah!) After a very productive note session I'm now in the middle of a brain slump - caused for the first time in ages by actually cognitive work. So now, I brood...

I say brood, it's really just quizzical thoughts on the whole concept of new years resolutions. I did not make any this year - this in itself is fine as they never are remembered past the first week.  My problem this year is that my concerns are very simple, and I have no desire to set goals.  My only determination at this point is to make it too 28 alive. Simple, neh? It would be nice to have an idea of where, or what I want to be by 2016 but at this point it is not possible.  I'm too close to my brush with death; and I have had far to many difficult changes forced on me to know where I stand let alone knowing what I want to do in the future.  In small ways I am already moving forward, concrete 'resolutions' or not.  I am learning how to cope with and, importantly, predict my seizures, and while i'm not comfortable with the need, if only occasional, for a cane at my age I'm just counting myself lucky that I can walk at all.  I'm pushing myself out of the god-awful depression that was pulling me backwards post surgery, and trying to test the new boundaries to physical and mental capabilities. I would like to keep faith in myself at this point, rather then be beat down by others nonsensical ideas.

Overall, I'd say if I had a resolution this year it would be to continue to grow, rather then to let the hurt of the past year weigh me down.

Mwhaha a Christmas carol parody

So far I have managed to avoid being bah humbug about Christmas.  So much has happened this year that is depressing that it just doesn't feel right to be unhappy. Still, I attempted this parody of 'The12 Days of Christmas' and, well, it turned very bah humbug.... But I'm pleased with how it turned out!

The dangers of free writing

In free-writing the idea is to write whatever comes to mind. The benefits of this is it ignores inhibitions and one is less likely to think about the value of what one is writing so it frees up the ability to produce a quantity of words in a short time frame. When this the goal then it is a quick way to succeed. However, every time I free write I always regret looking over what I have written as the quality becomes more inconsistent and the prose disjointed as I go on. This is where it as advantageous to have a plan or goal in mind for the section you are planning to write.

I am not even 2000 words into my novel challenge, and I am already annoyed with the quality of what I have written. It is nothing a complete rewrite won't cure. But when considering a drastic action with a section of prose one always needs to consider if it is even worth it. I am almost considering a restart with new idea. Problem is my mental energy is just too sapped.

Current word count: 1830

National Blog Posting Month

Yesterday I discussed NaNoWriMo.  Today I bring you NaBloPoMo A.K.A. National Blog Posting Month which, as chance would have it, starts the same day as Nanowrimo.  The challenge is too produce one blog post a day meaning it is only as difficult as I choose to make it.  I would go so far to suspect its a blatant rip-off of the former as well, but I need to start posting to both this blog and my creative writing blog on a daily basis again.  I also find that, providing I don't feel drained, that writing a blog post is a good way around writer's block.  However, I highly suspect I am going to be very glad of my anti-convulsants by the end of the day.

Now that the explanation is out of the way I can get on with the task at hand - an introduction.  This is my rambling blog: Crazy Thoughts.   The aim of this blog has always diffuse.  I have used it for different purposes over time.  I have posted allergen friendly recipes; creative writing; crafted soap.  Really its main purpose has always been to be an outlet for whatever random idea pops into my head.  In this respect it has been satisfactory.

Current NaNoWriMo word count: 620

It that time again

Nanowrimo, national novel writing month for those of you who have never come across the acronym, starts again tomorrow morning. The charity event lasts for the duration of November and is an excellent opportunity for writers to practice their skills in a slightly competitive fashion.  The aim is to write a novella of at least 50,000 words in 30days.  This can be quite challenging for some but I've seen plenty of participants fly past that goal. Personally, I will be pleased if I make it too 30,000.  Last years effort hit 21,000; a word count that far outstripped my previous attempts.

It is boggling to think that that is all I managed while unemployed.  Okay, so I was focused on job hunting and other crafts at that point in time. Even so, the sheer insanity of the concept of attempting to produce an article of work longer than last years is quite daunting.  At the beginning of the month I under went a craniotomy to remove a tumour from the left hemisphere of my brain. If the frequent dizzy spells and stumbling wasn't enough to worry about; there only so much work I can do before I feel a seizure coming on.  Talk about biting off more the you can chew.  Still, I'm supposed to be engaging in activities I normally would to recuperate and this is definitely something I would normally do.

I hope you join nanowrimo and good luck!

Butterflies

Hungry little caterpillar

spinning a cocoon

Dreaming of the day

she will fly away soon.

Seasons shift, time flows forward

Our little caterpillar releases from her dreams.

I've always seen butterflies as a symbol of change. At this point in my life there is no symbol more representative of my experience.  I can effectively say my life as it was is currently in tatters without being overly dramatic. I no longer know who I am or where I'm going.  I am left with the singular option of walking forward, hoping not to stumble.  Meanwhile, I turn back to my literary pursuits; there's nothing more helpful then escapism into the written world.

Musing on a challenge

I have completed yet another short story: Shouting Fire. This was another random word challenge. Like all the others, it made me think. But today, it made me really pay attention to the creative process for some reason.

The word was theatre. Nothing special. But it struck as I write just how important the first impression is to the creative flow. For example, my first though with theatre was the phrase 'never shout fire in a crowded theatre' to which my brain automatically responded 'oh I so want to do that now.' As can been seen from Shouting Fire, this had a direct impact on the plot itself. Similiarly, when I wrote Pepper last week my first thought was on the burning aspect rather then the versatility in food and this again carried through to the plot.

It is because of this that we actually need to be careful to be aware of these impressions because other wise it is easy to plagiarise without the intention. A good example of this is the fragments of 'The man from Ironbark' which I have included into the plot. I made a deliberate choice to work more of these in on the basis of a second impression I had from 'theatre'. It brought to mind my yr6 play in school – which is a similar production to what the character John is watching. I could have easily let this influence in without acknowledging it (although with what little I deliberately added it would be hard to accuse me of plagiarism).

This said, in such a short piece would the similarity to 'The man from Ironbark' have even been noticed if I had not gone out of my way to be obvious? This is a very good question.  

Upon reflection: poetry

I freaked myself out earlier.  Some days that's not much of an achievement.  I am a bit of an oddball at the best of times.  I caught myself making faces and odd poses in the mirror many times.  My own face can make some terrifying expressions.  However, what I freaked myself out with today was a short poem I wrote as part of a Daily Post writing challenge.

The idea was very simple:  Produce a few short observations of lunch that capture the essence of your experience.  From this I wrote Eating Alone; a very short piece of poetry that captures the theme of the challenge as best as my ability is able.  After I posted this poem it suddenly occurred to me that was a disturbing element of unease in the words i used.  This is a clear reflection of the mood I was in when writing it.  That is when I realized I need to go out to where there is noise and people!

Isn't sad how we can sometimes blind ourselves to our own mood?

Insomnia, you creative genius, you.

I'm up way pat midnight AGAIN.  What is there to do this late, you ask? Nothing ^_^  Not a damn thing.  And so I'm writing.

Writing yay!!  Of course I'm writing.  It's all I ever do at the moment.  Well today's progress?  The start of parodically bad teen romance story and (and this is the good one) a new picture it and write challenge.

This weeks photo is:

Greet the Evil Mop.  He is the future lord and sovereign of the universe. This challenge was not a difficult one for one reason - I could not get the idea of walking into a cleaning closet to find this creepy bastard out of my head.  Therefore I have written Time to quit the day job as a result.  This a short piece of flash fiction inspired by my own life and a supernatural mop.  It amused me.  I hope it amuses you too.

My daily dose of Starbucks

Today I am enjoying a Toffee Nut latte.   Mmmm, Starbucks.  Now right here imagine I'm saying that as a Homer Simpson impression.   Like Mmmmm, Donuts.  But now I have a problem.  I can't hide my addiction.  It's right out there in the open.  So here's a list of the reason why I go to starbucks.

It makes a great away-from-home office.  My addiction to Starbucks began when He Who Shall Remain Nameless (Oh I bet you just sniggered at that) got us studying for essays those many months ago when I was still in uni.  Of course, I already frequented Starbucks at that point, just not nearly as often. Utilizing Starbucks as a home office was a turning point.  It just made such a convenient place to study.  You could sit for hours, use the free wi-fi and no one would bother you.  There was even coffee on tap!  I fully admit to writing 60% of my degree in Starbucks.

You can sit in there for hours nursing the same drink.  This is perhaps the best element of the Starbucks visit.  It makes the perfect retreat when you've been caught rain, waiting for a bus, or just hanging out.  I've sat around for a whole day and not once been badgered by staff into buying another drink.  This, of course, may be because I'm such a regular that they know I will come up eventually for seconds.  Or it could also be because generally they don't care provided you don't get cheeky.  In fact, the few times I have actually seen management ask people to leave or buy a drink it invariably involves teenagers who think it's perfectly acceptable to take up seats for hours without anyone purchasing a drink.  Or the homeless...  But they tend to be more forgiving towards them.

Free Wi-fi.  This is pretty much self explanatory.  There are plenty of places with free wi-fi these days but I've always found Starbucks one of the more useful places to stop because you don't need a password or to sign up.  Just connect you device to the Starbucks Openzone signal and hit connect on the Starbucks page that opens up.  Simple.  No hidden costs, no giving away phone numbers or emails.  One simple connect button click and you are one.

Coffee.  Nuff said.  Starbucks coffee isn't the best.  In fact it's so weak I used to order extra shots because the standard number of shots was insufficient.

You can study people.  So this is admittedly a personal hobby of mine.  I often found myself observing people looooong before undertaking a degree in Sociology and Psychology.  If you ever are curious about human behaviour just sit in a crowded place and listen/look at what's going on around you.  This always makes for great material if you regularly create any form of art, whether it's writing or painting or what ever.

And finally - You can even meet people.  Better yet they aren't all weirdos!!  Yep, that's right, have interesting and unusual conversations with complete strangers.  Just beware of the loonies...  I have fled Starbucks to escape people before.

I totally admit it.

I really do.

I have been completely immersed into writing again recently.  Its both good, bad and scary.  On one hand I feel like I've rediscovered a part of myself that for various reason got quashed by real life. On the other, I feel like its distracting me from things I could/should be doing.

And I really should make a new batch of soap.

I really, really should.

Having said all this, here's another shameless plug - Don't listen!  A new poem about the dangers of listening to the crazy voice in your head.

I also wrote this short piece. Pepper, thanks to a random word challenge.  Coming up with something interesting and different based on the word pepper was Haaard.

More short fiction

I undertook a new picture it and write challenge this week.  The picture to the left is this weeks feature.  Actually have to say it was rather nice to work with because there's so much info in the picture that coming up with a potential plot was instantaneous.  It actually inspired me to write an excerpt for a short sci-fi/action story I'm writing entitled freedom.   Have a look below. :)

Excerpt from 'Freedom'