I seem to spend most of my life in transitory periods, living through one period of change to another. For awhile this made me feel pretty aimless, as even if I had made a decision, situations change around me and I'm in a lurch fighting to keep up and get ahead. The past 18 months have been particularly interesting to experience, though I'd have much rather watched it from the side-lines the live though it; particular that nasty biochemical depression that occurred after the neuro finished cutting the hole in my head. Actual Depression + Biochemical Depression = not fun, usually suicidal. I think sometimes part of my brain has defaulted to pretending it all happened to someone else. A brain tumor, break up, death of a family member, moving home because of medical dependency on others will all do that to you. I'm just happy I'm past the stage when I wake gasping for breath because I think I'm dying in my sleep, or in tears for no reason, or momentary sleep paralysis (which I really want to see a neuropsychologist about) have diminished to almost never with the exception of the final one. I think my endocrine system has finally recovered from the steroids as well. Back to normal PCOS symptons. It's bad when you just dream about snuggling in, nice and warm, when you're already in bed! lol Fantastic dream, then I wake up because of head, side, back and period pains!
Of course I don't make things easy for myself. I'm starting my social work placement this coming week. With under 25s at that! What a learning curve. I took on an addition elective this semester so I have two theory modules to along side the 30 hour per week prac. I'm now able to process the adoption paperwork for RSPCA so now I do more for them. Fortunately I've cut my news articles down to fortnightly and will be letting my WIN project officer know I'll be working for 4 months so won't be helping with playgroup. I also survived my week long intensive at the Gold Coast Campus 8-4 while still going back to backpackers and finishing assessments - one of which I got an 82% on! My brain works so much better without the pressure. :) Things are going well at the moment so fingers crossed its stays that way.
Course some days it dosen't take much to sour the my mood. I spotted college humour posting a collecting of live tweets from a twitter account of a couple breaking up because of hodkins lymphoma. Real or fake, it's a pretty insensitive thing to post. In fairness to college humour I think they were trying to illustrate how cruel people can be but as someone who's been through it, having your privacy breached like that can make the humiliation and pain that bit worse. I noticed they took the post down rather quickly after I commented that it was rather insensitive whether the tweets were a hoax or not. Besides, even if they're only sharing something that's already posted on the internet they may face legal repercussions. So it made no sense to post it in the first place.
On a brighter note, I've produced some new poems, and new flash fiction.
