Shifting towards the future

Yahoooo! My creative writing blog is doing so very well!! I'm averaging between 50-100 views a day.  I have people encouraging me to finish a novel because they want to read more of my work.  I have Authors who's writing ability I respect telling me not to procrastinate on it. :)  This month has been a great turn around.  It was a bit rocky at first with employers/housing allowance situation but that resolved itself with a big push from me.  It helps that the people who didn't care have left. I never could stand people who would tell you lies because they were in denial themselves.  Love made me put up a lot of poor behaviour. I will keep in mind that you can only heal an abused dog if he wants it.  Just wish I hadn't wasted so much time encouraging them towards mental health.  There were times I need that myself.  I entered a dark place again quite recently and I didn't much enjoy being there. Worrying about hiding my painkillers so I won't be tempted to take to many or only handling knives when others were around unless I did something harmful was a chore well and truly. I really wanted to leave that place in my teens where it belonged. I want to move forward not back. I want to enjoy what time I have, whether it's days or decades.

Thoughts for the day.

Procrastination is an art form.
Depression is realising that if my head process this well during my degree I would have gotten a first
Dealing is realising that I still got a 2:1 with a lump pressing against the part of my brain that controlled intellectual functions.

Tiredness

So tired I almost feel drunk with it. :D

....zZzZZ

I'm so fricken tired. I've been have trouble sleeping for various reasons.  So I stayed up reading till 5a.m. Brilliant...  I expected to drift long before that.  I'm still trying to write a formal request letter to my employers for payslips. It's nearly complete but between the mix of emotion the entire situation has awakened and the tiredness I can't seem to okay the draft.  I had better luck with my creative writing this morning, but it's not urgent!

I am Pin Cushion

No jokes. I should change my name to Pin Cushion. Every time I need a cannula I entered into an insane little ritual. The nurse will prod my elbows to find a vein. Each one will seem too deep, too close a tendon or will roll itself out of the needles way. Then they usually go after my wrist. Today, today.... My valve blew because the needle was dangerously close: no harm but a nice bruise. At this point the radiologist is called. After slapping my hand for what seems like ages and asking me I have drunk enough today he finally tries the veins in the back of my hand unsuccessfully twice. At this point I no longer care. So they go for my other wrist, finally get the canula in and we get on with the MRI. But then, the vein gets its revenge. They remove the canula and the little bastard won't stop bleeding....

With the exception of the bleeding, this happens every time.....

Anyone else want to jab me today?