I need a how-to on how to get to sleep

My insomnia has gotten bad again.  I'm on anti-epileptics that should make me sleep like a log.  But I'm struggling to get to sleep at decent hours.  Then when I've finally been up long enough to cause exhaustion I need to sleep ridiculous spans to catch up.  I'm trying to force a structured routine to make my body tire naturally but so far no luck.  But then I only have just managed to start getting a little more activity in without risking seizures. Beginning to feel like by the time I'm full recovered from the first op the surgeons will be cutting in to resect the tumour again.  On the bright side, the tumor may just shift away from the section of my brain that controls the movement of my right leg.  So I may get to keep they movement of the limb.

Thoughts for the day.

Procrastination is an art form.
Depression is realising that if my head process this well during my degree I would have gotten a first
Dealing is realising that I still got a 2:1 with a lump pressing against the part of my brain that controlled intellectual functions.

STARBUCKS!!!

I finally have it! The first cup of Starbucks coffee in 4 months. It's been soooo long :( .  I'm in Oxford for my first proper MRI since the craniotomy. And it's too cold for me to wander around. I forgot how pretty Oxford, even mid-winter. I almost regret getting here 2 hours early but that's just perfect time frame for sitting in 'bucks having a drink. Funny bit is I would have gotten to headington and hour earlier but trains heading south from Banbury were facing severe delays as the result of broken down freight train. Fun day for rail staff.

It's been a busy day already. First job was to get to a drs appointment to ask my dr to write a letter to send to the benefits office on my behalf.  I am hoping it will be enough to make them reconsider suspension off the housing allowance because, while I am pursuing other avenues to get my payslips, it will be cutting it close if I do get them in time. At the moment I have to hope the benefits team will accent bank statements. Bloody frustrating. The worst part is I'm not even blaming the benefits team; it's their job. Although the best part of the day was my dr advising me not to go back to working with them. Highlight.

But I guess I am going to have to go into my savings sooner than planned either way -_- I need new glasses, sooner the better. The prescription difference is substantial enough that I get eye strain just walking around town. Working the mail-out at age concern was fun. Had to keep stooping or bringing the envelopes uncomfortably close to my face evey time there was a snag.

I have totally had enough...

Sooo quick recap - life fell apart after seizures lead to discovery of tumor in the left hemisphere of my brain. It has been removed and 3 months of recover later I'm trying to pick up the pieces. However, my work place seems intent on ,asking my health worse. My biggest concern for getting my life back together is the persistent, ongoing seizures. I have been trying so hard to get these under control. But given that tense emotional states, fatigue and cognitive/physical exertion all bring the seizures on, this a tough task.

Today I recieved a request from the local housing authority requesting my last three payslips (clearly to prove I am still only receiving sick pay). This is to be expected. But it was then that I realised that, in addition to forgetting to pay my sick pay in November, they had not sent me one payslip since September. If I can't prove what I am receiving then I will face, at the very least, a temporary suspension of my housing allowance. Since I am still unable to work the hours necessary to afford to live off wages this is actually quite stressful and anxiety inducing. But it is beginning to feel that that is all my current employers have done since the tumor was found; every spell of stress/anxiety leaves me with increased risk of a seizures. I do not know how much longer I can cope. -_-